fencing jokes to tell your friends

I once asked a great coach how he decided which weapon a student should fence. He replied, "On the first day, I tell him 'keep me from hitting you with my straight arm' and I extend my arm at them." He then explained what the three types of students do. The first takes a step back out of range of the coach's hand, he shall be a sabreur. The second slaps the coach's hand out of the way before the coach can hit him, he shall be an epee fencer. The third lets the coach hit him and immediately turns to any bystanders and insists that the coach's arm was bent. He shall be a foilist.

There were once three sabre masters, a French, a Russian, and a Hungarian, and they were all arguing who was the best master. The argument became rather heated, and without further ado, the French master brings out his sabre, declaring, "I will show you all!" He targeted one of the flies buzzing around the salle, and with a swipe of his blade, the fly falls to the ground, cut neatly in half. The Russian sabre master shakes his head, "Nyet, you shall see that -I- am the best!" And with two swipe of his blade, the fly falls to the ground, it's wings neatly removed. They stare expectantly at the Hungarian sabre master, who simply smiles and shakes his head. He targets another fly in the room, and with two swipes of his blade, the fly flys off, undisturbed. The other two masters laugh and ridicule the Hungarian, who once again shakes his head and holds up his hands, quietly saying, "That fly will never procreate again!"